NEW BOOK

The Art of Fighting: The Transforming Power of Conflict 

Priya Parker explains that we can’t form and grow effective relationships without a fight. She rejects the idea that conflict is abnormal or that good groups don’t fight. All groups change and evolve; indeed, it’s because people disagree that good groups flourish.

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We say we want community. Successful teams. High-performing colleagues and workplaces. Dynamic friend groups. Yet many of us don’t understand the crucial element we need to forge long-lasting communities in our lives: healthy conflict.

In The Art of Fighting, Priya Parker explains that we can’t form and grow effective relationships without a fight. She rejects the idea that conflict is abnormal or that good groups don’t fight. All groups change and evolve; indeed, it’s because people disagree that good groups flourish.

As she did in the now-classic The Art of Gathering, Parker draws on her far-reaching experience as a conflict facilitator, her own detailed research, and real-world examples to lay out the ways that people can identify disputes, determine how to address them, and what to do if they are insurmountable. Whether people disagree in the boardroom or the locker room, on a playground or in church, online or in person, conflict is a part of life, and understanding healthy conflict and how to harness its power is more important than ever. The Art of Fighting is a vital primer to help all of us understand how to do that.

YOU’LL FIND INSIDE

  • Every fight starts with a rupture, and it usually hits at a predictable moment in a group's life. Priya helps you name what kind of tear you're actually dealing with, and gives you a real way to decide if it's even worth fighting about.

  • Most fights aren't really about what they look like they're about. Priya walks you through how to find the real need underneath the surface complaint, using tools both modern and ancient. Then comes the harder part: actually having the fight. She brings you into real rooms and real Zooms with real families and teams, and shows you what it takes to stay in it without doing damage.

  • Every fight leaves something behind. Priya isn't pro-breakup or anti-breakup. She helps you read what your group actually needs next, whether that's coming back together stronger or finally parting ways, and how to tell the difference.

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CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE BOOK

PODCAST

Priya joins Ezra Klein to talk about why so many of us feel lonely even when we're busy, and what actually helps.

PODCAST

Priya explains what a Magical Question is and how to ask one that actually works to connect a group.

ARTICLE

Virtual Meetings Are Killing the Vibe. Here’s What to Do About It: Priya on why virtual meetings feel so empty, and what to actually do about it.

PODCAST

Small Ways to Make Your Life Fun & Exciting: Priya sits down with Mel Robbins to talk about why gatherings need a real purpose.

PRAISE

  • “Leave it to Priya Parker to name that the missing link to growing new ways of community is not merely in connecting meaningfully, but in fighting meaningfully. This is a life-giving book, and Priya is the luminous and ingenious teacher we need.”

    — KRISTA TIPPETT

    Host of On Being and author of Becoming Wise

  • “This is not just a book about having better arguments, it’s a manual for building stronger relationships. If families, workplaces, schools, and governments followed Priya Parker’s sage advice, the world would be less of a mess.”

    — ADAM GRANT

    Author of Think Again and Hidden Potential

  • “Priya Parker offers a generous, radically helpful guide through our divides—without flattening what makes us different.”

    — SULEIKA JAOUAD

    Author of The Book of Alchemy

  • “Astute and humane … A wise manual for clashing with care.”

    — PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

  • “Priya Parker illuminates how to navigate the hard conversations we'd rather avoid — and how to come out wiser and more connected.”

    — DANIEL SHAPIRO

    Author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable

  • “Readable, intelligent and relatable … an exceptional guide for any group seeking ways to transform conflict into an occasion for positive growth.”

    — KIRKUS

  • “The Art of Fighting is a must read for all of us.”

    — ALICIA GARZA

    Co-founder, Black Lives Matter and author of The Purpose of Power

BOOK

The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters

At a time when coming together is more important than ever, Priya sets forth a human-centered approach to help you create meaningful experiences, large and small, for work and play.

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